Last days at SANAE

Things end. 

Our 14-month stay in the white wilderness (which sounded as long as a lifetime) came to the last month, then to the last week and then finally to the last day.

It awoke a lot of mixed feelings, not only within each individual but also within the team, part wants to stay, part wants to go.  Part is looking forward to be reunited with family and loved ones but part of you is sad for leaving this very special continent, a continent that became our home.  And what a home it has been?  Landscapes that are so beautiful and so large, so wide, so open and so empty.  Colours that to the casual observer might be called white which in the detail are ever changing and ever mind blowing.  Pinks, purples, blues, greens, yellows, and millions of variations of the above.  A beauty that can be described as void of emotion or memory.  A beauty that one moment blows your mind but the next can blow you away.  A beauty at times so inhospitable and so harsh that it ever stays out of reach.

But things end and so we became more and more aware that our days on this continent are limited.  Unfortunately, for an over winterer the stay on the ice does not continually build up to end on a high note.  The last part of our stay was partially filled with what makes the wilderness so alluring.  A little too many ego's, a little too much politicking a little too much of what humans do when resources are scarce.  It may seem that it ruined some of the experience but I think it highlighted what made this experience so special.  To have so much space, to share thousands of hectares with only 9 other people is quite something.  Sharing the 3 000 square meters inside the base, at times, was something different of course but to experience a year without any threats of crime or to not have a constant man made media deluge to digest was a true sabbatical for the soul.

So to stand at the end of this adventure I ask myself if this expedition was what I expected it would be?  I think in many respects it wasn't.  I expected a little more outdoor adventure and maybe a little more camaraderie.  Although, it is comforting to believe things might turn out as we expect, the surprises life has in store for us is sometimes the biggest gifts of them all.  So, for the sake of the argument, to want what we expected would be to forfeit the incredible privilege to see Antarctica, as I surely never expected to see it. 

As we leave, we need to admit how small our lives felt at times.  We became so engrossed in the tiniest nuances of our lives in and around SANAE.  Integrating back into society might be more challenging than we realise but as we walk away from the white wilderness, friends made and experiences shared I hope we will be forever changed.  

(Also published in our last newsletter)